Martin Kocsis heads to the deepest, darkest depths of Staffordshire to track down a certain Andi Turner - grit master, teacher, and now BMC Access Rep for the area. But just what has he let himself in for?

Why have you volunteered to look Staffordshire access?
Staffordshire really draws you in. I was brought up on the Yorkshire grit and moorland sandstone - sworn to forever hate limestone and never to trust anyone from south of the Humber. This saw me in good stead for many years, until I found myself bewildered, lost and living in this oatcake county. I was soon absorbed into the Staffordshire scene - a quiet, somewhat esoteric scene perhaps, but generally forthright and in a good state of development. And now it’s the most precious place in the world for me and where I’m most happy, either tearing around the Roaches, falling off Hen Cloud or shadow boxing the midges in the Churnet Valley. Every crag has something that I know is important and worth preserving, and maintaining access to it all is of paramount importance. 
 
How do you manage to hang onto pebbles?
I once did an all out pebble move - with both hands on pebbles and both feet up to another pebble which I matched before getting a pocket. This was down the Churnet Valley however, where the bunter pebbles are more like cobbles, so I don’t suppose it really counts. To be honest, I actually struggle with pebble pulling; it’s a knack I’ve never mastered despite the Roaches Lower Tier being the place to do it. I generally avoid them either by lurching past them or by proclaiming that my immense 13 stones is too much for them and they should be preserved for future generations. My good friend Justin Critchlow was born from a pebble however. He nipple-pinches them between his thumb and index finger knuckle. He can mantle them, no bull.
 
What do you do to get the money to climb?
I’m a trainee Geography teacher in an inner city secondary school in Stoke-on-Trent called Edensor Technology College. It’s lots of fun but a constant battle to keep my workload down and my climbing up. I’ve always worked in similar surroundings either in outdoor education, children’s crisis intervention units or schools. I once had a kid tell me he was going to “murder me, wrap me up in plastic and bury me alive”. Thoughtful but lacking attention to detail I thought: D+.

The last time I climbed with you was on Yellow Walls last summer. Have you been up to much since?
Yes, the year only got better from there really, since I set myself the onerous task of getting up to date on the Churnet Valley. This culminated in a ground-up second ascent of Inaccessible, a Simon Nadin route which had sat festering and developing a “status” for some time, then the third ascent (by about ten minutes) of Boyson’s totally amazing The Pride. Both routes having been ignored for well over a decade. I was then lucky enough to get a first ascent of a route at Hen Cloud that I called Catharsis (E7 7a) which climbed the wall right of the notoriously pumpy Caesarian.

Dave Bishop must be a hard act to follow - are you scared?
Dave Bishop is the dude. The things he has quietly done for Staffordshire climbing are exemplary. I’m a little scared as I wouldn’t want to undo any of the great stuff he’s leaving as his legacy - it’d be a bit like selling your Grandad’s Victoria Cross. He’s doing a great job tolerating me following him around and seeing what he does. It should make the change over seamless. That’s the plan anyway.

What would you like to see more of from the BMC?
The events they run are fantastic. Two of my favourite weeks climbing ever have been spent on the summer International Meets. It’d be great if they could become an annual event. Other than that, just more of the same as regards access and conservation, and I suppose, just letting the public know that this is what they do. From where I stand, they’re doing a fantastic job.
 
Some of the landowners in Staffordshire are a bit scary - any good in a punch up?
Yeah, I love scrapping, it’s where I get my beauty from. I learned my art from Doug Moller, the old eye-patched self-proclaiming Lord and King of the Roaches. He recommended raking the shins with the outside of your foot and then pummelling the kidneys like pistons. It seems to work quite well. Other than that I can call on my right hand man Mark Sharratt for a spot of back up.

If there’s a problem somewhere, how do people get hold of you?
I’m usually online if I’m not at the crag so drop me an email at turnera700@aol.com. I’d like to hear about any problems or issues that anyone has, however small, so that things can keep rolling. You never know, what might seem a small issue to you might be part of a bigger catalogue of problems coming together. Other than that, use a Klieg searchlight to project an image of Hen Cloud above Leek and I’ll come running.
 
Cream horn, chocolate flapjack or fruit slice?
At this this time of year I’d go for fruit slice, but it’d have to be quite big - I can’t be doing with crappy little bits of cake. And Martin, your obsession with cake is bordering on madness, you need to discover biscuits, despite them being taxable. You could start on Jaffa cakes, they’re the halfway house.

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